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Natural 05/05/1999 Sisterlocked 10/22/2007

Friday, December 12, 2008

Let's Do Better for Our Children!

Now, I would like to ask a question and would appreciate any comments that you may have. Why is it that Blacks are almost always the first to demean and disrespect other Blacks?

As an educator, I witness this on a continual basis. Students relish in telling a darker-skinned student how "ugly", "unattractive", "ashy", "tarbaby-like", "charcoal", "burnt", and etc....that he or she is. What is this insanity?

Also, when it comes to hair, WE (I use VERY loosely) will quickly and proudly describe Black hair in its natural state using the following terms: "cu-co-buds", "cantcha-dontcha", "steel wool", you name it, I probably have heard it. What is this foolishness that we are instilling in our children? Much of this is now coming from our own community. We have been thoroughly indoctrinated with very hateful terminology. At what point do we take responsibility for our own negative protrayal and self-hating imagery?

I am so fed up with seeing 4 year old girls with bald spots on their hair lines, in the center (where weave ponytails have been frequently placed), and eaten up "kitchens" (the nape area). I have been pressured by many to put a perm or a hot comb in my little lady's head. Once, for a pageant, I did. Her virgin hair sweated "back" that very same day. She stated (at 4 years old) that she "NEVER EVER THAT AGAIN! Mommy! how could you DO this to ME!" My heart broke into 3 billion pieces because I know first-hand the pain, heat, and merciless pull of the hot comb. I promised her that very same day that I would NEVER EVER DO THAT TO HER AGAIN.

So far, I am holding to that promise. Her braidlocks were installed (by me) on April 7th 2008. Check out the smile!


  1. Hi I hear you! We have to STOP this hatred of darker skin! and you are right it has to start with the parents

  2. My niece told me about a year ago that she assumed when she was younger that I didn't like her because she is chocolate. I asked her if I had ever done anything to make her feel that way. She told me no, but she said that was the way most people treated her because she was chocolate. I was SO hurt to think that she had that in her head for about 18 years at the time. All that time I always bragged on how pretty my 4 nieces were, but I guess I never told them. I have learned now that they need to hear things like that more.

    You daughter is so beyond cute. My daughter has been locked since age 4 and she is 9years old. Oh and I am both your sister in Christ and from lovinlocs forum. I look forward to reading more about you. I have 3 blogs so be careful they can be addictive. LOL

  3. The color separation between the races, I wish it would end. It comes from both sides. Either you're too black or not black enough. Willie Lynch's theory still lives on and we need to educate our children that Black is Black. Speaking of colors, the grass is not always greener on the other side.

  4. This discussion just reminded me of a comment made by a guy I know (and not by choice) that his aunt didn't like the guys on his side of the family because they're too dark. I thought "Maybe she doesn't like you because you haven't had a steady job ever and you're 40, don't take care of your three kids with three different women, and are loud and obnoxious" but I just kept my mouth shut.

    Your daughter is gorgeous. You shoud get her in on this Gap commercial thing.